Archives for posts with tag: Saying Goodbye

I have been back in the good old United States of America for a week now.  Last Monday was an oddity because I spent a full day in Tokyo and then arrived that same day with 11 hours to spare before the end of the day in California. I essentially experienced the future and then came back to the present. I’m not sure how else to explain that. Either way, it was a long day, one that was exhausting, but leaving one side of the world with good friends, for another side of the world to be welcomed by good friends, is quite a way to time travel.

I’m not sure where to even begin in this posting. It’s odd to think that three months worth of travel is over, that whatever I experienced I won’t experience again. Or rather, that the next time I visit Japan, it will be on a completely different mission and the experience will be absolutely different. Next time, I won’t be so shocked by the cold or my inability to read (heck, I may even be able to read something! That’s a goal.), or the exchange rate.

Just before I left for Narita airport last Monday, I ate lunch, rechecked my bags to make sure I was comfortable with how I packed them and then walked down to the Meiji Shrine for one last prayer. I had already visited that shrine on New Year’s Day with thousands of others to pray for a happy and healthy New Year, but still, six days later, I walked back for one last prayer and to thank the Gods for letting me have the experience I had.

When visiting the Meiji Shrine, you walk for a good five minutes through a dense forest of tall tress. Upon entering the inner sanctum of the Shrine, you wash your hands to be clean for prayer and then enter the Shrine itself. The area surrounding the Shrine is absolutely beautiful. You can smell clean air and all of the tension and negative feelings that one might be carrying with them seems to suddenly evaporate as you walk along the pebbled path to the gates of the Shrine.

During my first stay in Tokyo, my gracious host, took me to the Meiji Shrine and opened me up to the world of Shintoism and the Japanese way of believing. I learned only at my last visit to the Meiji Shrine the value of it, thanks to a leaflet I grabbed on my way out:

Meiji Jingu is a Shinto shrine. Shinto is called Japan’s ancient original religion, and it is deeply rooted in the way of Japanese life. Shinto has no founder, no holy book, and not even the concept of religious conversion, but Shinto values for example harmony with nature and virtues such as “Magokoro (sincere heart)”. In Shinto, some divinity is found as Kami (divine spirit), or it may be said that there is an unlimited number of Kami. You can see Kami in mythology, in nature, and in human beings. From ancient times, Japanese people have felt awe and gratitude towards such Kami and dedicated shrines to many of them.

My entire time spent in Japan was deeply rooted in a connection to Nature. It explains why I found a Native American themed coffee shop named Pueblo in Mikuni, Japan on Thanksgiving. It explains why I saw the painted Native American wall in Shimo Kitazawa (see below). It explains why I was surrounded by the mountains in a small town named Echizen. It explains why I cried when I heard Aki-san sing the songs to the Goddess my first week in Echizen. It explains why I spent so much time in the mountains while traveling around Japan. It explains the finding of the bunny symbol in my first full month in Japan. It explains my deep connection and love for the paper making process that I learned in Echizen. It explains why I enjoyed listening to the flow of water and the rain and wind and thunder on certain storm nights.

IMG_1531

I’ve shared before that in my youth I wanted to live with Native Americans. Of course my idea was more romantic. I wanted to hunt buffalo and wear moccasins and do rain dances. I wanted to sing to the spirits around fires and learn from the oldest members of the council.  I learned as I grew up that I might never have that experience because the lives of many Native American Tribes are much different. Not to mention their youth are moving from these traditions to more Western lifestyles.

Oddly enough though, my days spent in the countryside of Japan made me feel like I was almost living my Native American dream. Being surrounded by people who deeply practice Shintoism and rely on nature for their livelihoods struck my soul hard. It was during these days that I learned about prayer and about my deepest self. I’m not just talking spiritual BS here, I’m talking true self-discovery. It was important for me to learn so that I could shape and grow my business in this new year, but it was also important so that I could guide myself in the various shades of light and darkness in life.

My first week since Japan has found me in both Southern and Northern California. I’ve stayed with two good friends and have been surrounded by various degrees of nature. Along the train ride to San Jose from Los Angeles, I was able to see part of the Coast and then into the farms and red rock/mountainous areas of the state. On Saturday, I was able to walk on Baker’s Beach and then did a small hike with another good friend to a point where we were able to view the Golden Gate Bridge. It was breathtaking! On the walk on the beach, a woman and I were able to throw a baby shark (not sure what kind) back into the water (I hope he survived!). During the weekdays, I’ve taken walks, mostly to various stores around my friend’s apartment, but I’ve noticed lush and gorgeous plants and flowers along the way and of course, the beautiful skies and changes in temperatures as well. Although, these are not quite the same as what I experienced in Japan, I know that they are a small way to extend what was a big and necessary need during my trip.

How all of this will change in the coming days and weeks, I’m not sure. There’s a lot to be figured out, but I know that I’m focusing on my business (yay!), my relationship with my Mom and grandfather, and in continuing finding my own sense of peace. I hope to get back to NYC in the late Spring/early Summer of this year, but know that a lot hinges on these first days and weeks back on the East Coast (I arrive Wednesday night).

Back to the Meiji Shrine last week…When I offered my five yen coin into the well at the Shrine last Monday, I prayed for similar things I had prayed for throughout the trip…peace, happiness, success and growth as an entrepreneur and a business owner, continued faith, for some special people in my life, and for all that I had learned. I thanked the Meiji Shrine for being a huge part of my journey, and for my time in Japan which was relatively painless, the people I met, and every moment that caused me to smile, reflect, and appreciate life.

My trip doesn’t quite seem like a dream at this point because I am committed to remembering the lessons I learned during the trip, but it does almost seem like it never happened. I’m torn between missing Japan and not missing it at all. Maybe I don’t miss it because I know that I’ll return again? I don’t think that Japan was ever meant to be a one-trip wonder. I feel it was meant to be a deep, strengthening connection and because of it, I look forward to my next trip.

So I suppose that “sayonara” is the wrong word to use in saying goodbye. Sayonara implies a long goodbye. Instead, I should use Dewa mata, which is a formal, but informal way of saying “see you later.” So Dewa mata, Japan. Thank you for my first, wonderful experience in Japan. I can’t wait to see what comes next!

It’s here! It’s the last card to my co-worker at the old 9-to-5. I’ve been at the new internship gig for a little over-a-week at this point, which is exciting, no? Yes!

I’m not going to lie, I had a mini-meltdown last night. It was so bad that my therapist (what NYer doesn’t have a therapist?!) said she was worried about me. But I think the important thing is that it was the realization that things are officially ending and new.  While the new has been taking place for a few days now, it is really happening and I’m still adjusting. For example, today was my last physical therapy appointment since my insurance runs out this Saturday; tomorrow, I won’t have an unlimited subway card. The disintegration of old Sara Stroman begins at the end of the month, which is frightening and electrifying at the same time. There is a lot to be overwhelmed by and yet, I know that even in the tears and feelings of overwhelmed, I am ready for this. My business is ready for this. You can’t have real hunger if you haven’t experienced starvation. So here goes.

Since this blog is very much about me and how running my business is going, you’ll be regularly updated on how I’m doing both professionally and personally, financially and emotionally. Stay tuned.

And lastly, because this is the end of what was Sara Stroman as we’ve all known her, it’s fitting to end with the last card of the bunch to my co-workers at the old 9-to-5. I think it sums up the relationship I have with this person- I call him my BFFI (Best Friend Forever Infinitely) and he is one of the best people I’ve had the opportunity to meet and work with. As I mentioned last week in my fake last card posting, I’m glad he’s the last person to get a card. It really means so much! He also got an Oscar Wilde card and I’m crazy for that Oscar Wilde!

Goodbyes can be rewarding when you’re moving into a better direction and still keeping those that you value the most along for the ride.  This isn’t goodbye, it’s a supportive continuation. :)

Today is the day! It is my last day at the 9-to-5 as a full-time employee and well, the emotion I feel is mostly bittersweet. I think as the week moves on and I do some more complete writing, you readers will get a full-range of what I’ve been experiencing.  Until then however, I leave with you the last card of the entire batch and not the last card to my last coworker.

The reason I’m sharing this card with you instead of the card for my co-worker is because he works and lives in Tokyo. He is returning to NYC for vacation on Wednesday and staying through the following week and I will get to see him on the 29th.  Until then, I can not, I mean can not share the card before he sees it with his own eyes.  So that means you have to wait until the 29th to see the final card.  Boo, I know, but it’ll so be worth the wait!

But honestly, today is about me, not him, but me. That sounds so selfish, but he will get his day of attention on the 29th. So until then, I’ll celebrate my leaving and my last day here and smile knowing that I’ve left a bit of a legacy, and ready to fly on to the next journey/adventure.

Oh, one last thought- I love that the quote on the card is the Oregon State Motto-I’m headed to Portland, Oregon for the first time ever in July this year and well, it fits with the reason for trip (more on that later), my year so far, and that hawk I saw on my windowsill twice last December (remember him?)-I think he was more of a simple than I acknowledged.

Today’s card is more about me than the person I’m giving it to, but I think it says something perfectly to the personality of the person, too. Absolutely and completely.

Monday is my last day, which means we have one more card to go.

Catch ya on Monday!

I think this one says it all.

Not that I’m counting down or anything, but I have what is left of today and three more days of working at the current 9-to-5. I am excited, if you can not tell, but with each card I write, I feel a little bit heavy. As I thank these incredible (and sometimes not-so-incredible) individuals, I am reminded of how much I’ve grown in four years and well reflection, especially daily reflection, can be heavy.

Yesterday, I posted an actual blog which means you didn’t get to see the card from yesterday and so I am including yesterday’s and today’s cards. Yesterday’s card (Gandhi) may just be one of my all time favorites.

Three more days, three more cards. I’m not sure I saved the best for last, but I know I saved the most important for last. Stay tuned.

Here are today’s goodbye cards. I love them both, (I mean seriously who can choose between Shakespeare and Thoreau!) but the one on the left really makes me smile.

The reason two cards went out today instead of one is because the individuals are traveling through the week and I know without a doubt that next Monday, my last day, I will only give one card away, to my boss.

Anyhow, I have six days left of work and four cards to go!

Once I knew that change was on the menu, I started to figure out how I would go about saying goodbye to the amazing and not-so-amazing individuals that have made up my work family over the past 4.5 years.  I also kept in mind that time is not quite my friend in the two-week period, so I knew I had to be confident and make an impact in my goodbyes.

After telling my immediate department and surrounding cube mates, and close, close friends, I moved on to an email to close co-workers who I felt needed to know ASAP.  I had pondered how to go about sharing the news. Saying goodbye is never a really easy thing, after all and I knew that people would want to talk and distract me from work, so I chose for ease with the email. The response has been overwhelming and continues to be so. I’ve been called “the sun” and asked “what are we going to do without you?”. As always, people need validation and so it’s heartwarming to be validated, especially after feeling unappreciated for so long. It just goes to show you that no matter what, even when you believe you aren’t making an impact you are.

Anyhow, my decision on how to say goodbye to my closest came to me suddenly last Tuesday morning-I needed to write cards and letters explaining my appreciation for those who have also helped shape me. I needed to use the skill that I have and recognize so well-communication. I also knew that the only cards that would help me were Quotable Cards, not cards designed or made by me, but cards that I have always used when making a statement; cards so understated, they speak volumes.  Quotable cards are one of my inspirations. I don’t even attempt to do what they do because they do it so well, I just love the way I feel when I use their cards and hope to do the same with mine.

And so I decided that in the 10 days left at the 9-to-5 (as of tomorrow, I have 6), I would give out one card a day to each of my co-workers. My department is only 5 and I have four other co-workers that I work closely with and have developed relationships that are worthy of the written sentiment.

Last week, I gave out these two:

You of course will not see what I wrote inside because that’s too personal. But I’ve decided to share with you photos of each card I give out during the rest of the goodbye process. Naturally, you will not know to whom I gave each card to, but I figured it is always encouraging to read inspiring words.

Oddly enough, writing these cards, even though it has just been two thus far, has been therapeutic. I feel calm and less sad by sharing what makes each person special as it gets closer for me to walk out of the doors of my 9-to-5 and into the next journey of Sara and S2 Stationery and Design.

As I mentioned in my post on Friday, I may be off a bit on writing content as I pack up and shift gears, but I will still stop to share inspiring words. I think as much as it is for me to share these positive notes with my coworkers, it also allows me to leave a piece of my own personality behind, too.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,452 other followers